On a scale of one to ten... Where am I on the evil scale?

Do I count as evil if none of this was my intention?

Do I count as evil if this was my destiny?

Do I count as evil if the actions aren't fully my own?

Maybe not. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't an enabler of my own fucked up acts.

I act as though I don't want any of this, but like how a Mother would risk her own life for her kid, surely if I was truly against this, I'd accept the punishment of death in place of my friends experiencing the same.

I've spent so many years of my life thinking of myself as a victim, but as I look at my own friends, one of the few I have left, I can see clearly that he is the victim in this situation, not me.

I'm evil.

I'm rotten.

I'm a monster.

​

I'm a weed and some one needs to rip me out of the ground.

Because I know I won't do it to myself.